I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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