dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
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