What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Randomize
