my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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