shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize