They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
