Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
