UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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