I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
