Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
