Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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