i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
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It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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