I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Randomize
