i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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