Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
