careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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