Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
