If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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