Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize