I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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