So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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