Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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