We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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