O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
