last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
two words: eviction party
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
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