Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
