Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Randomize
