so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
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