do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
