I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
