therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
