i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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