I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
