her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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