he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
