my mouth tastes like poor choices
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Randomize
