I didn't shave. On purpose
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
