Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
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The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
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i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
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