I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
