Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
