the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Porn is love you can see.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Did I show you my penis last night?
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
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