I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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