Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Randomize
