I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
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If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
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Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize