Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
