I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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