Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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