He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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