Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
