Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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