He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
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