is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
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Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize