is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
