porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Randomize
