belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
