Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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