on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
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