My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
