cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize
