Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
its not stalking. its research.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
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