Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
