i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
