So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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