omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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