The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
